Life without a Best-friend
I lay in the grass as tears caress my cheek
Wondering how I got to the place where I am today.
Across from me are two girls,
They are under a tree talking looking at a book
Laughing and Smiling
How long has it been since I was like that?
How long has it been since I sat down with my best-friend,
And talked about the boys we had crushes on,
The girls we hated,
The teachers that bored us.
How long has it been since I went to the mall with my best-friend,
And shared an icecream cone
Bought a couple of outfits
Pretended to be like manicans
I was always curious as what life would be like without my best-friend
And sadly I know the answer.
Life without a best-friend,
Is a dark shadowy place, where everything is in black and white
It's a life filled with loneliness and silence
It's a life filled with tears, and emotions tend to get bottled up inside
Life without a best-friend is hell, and that is no exaggeration
You face the world alone
You are alone
There is no one beside you to take your hand, and call you their best-friend
Sometimes I wish I could go back to my best-friend,
and take her by the hand, telling her how much she means to me
Maybe someday, I will and maybe the sun will decide to rise every morning like it used to.
- Kami
If you didn't get it then to sum it up I miss my best-friend. It's been two fucking years since I have actually seen her face to face, and school and life sucks without her. I just hate being one of those kids who sit by themselves at lunch, and I have always been a shy and quiet person, and of course socially awkward so making friends for me isn't very easy.
I kind of wanted to punch something today because where ever I look everyone is in twos! And sadly I am a one. I just feel so....pathetic and such a loser. I just really want to go visit her, but my parents won't send me there to go visit. I miss all my friends I have known since I was like six, and I want them all back in my life. Everyday seems so boring without them. I miss them all so much. They always seem to have plans with each other and of course they post it all on facebook, then you have me just going through my feed and just seeing all that makes me sad. I know they can't do anything about it but still.
Not being able to share stories with, or do homework with or study with is just sucking the life out of me. I miss going on bike rides and I miss just chilling out and talking. I miss it all, and no one here seems to get me, since they already have a best-friend of their own. When I had moved I had hoped that I would be able to meet someone new, and maybe we could be good friends...but nope, nothing like that ever happens to me. Just two more years of going through hell, then maybe things will get better, although I doubt it.
-Kami
Aw Kam....I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this blue, but I understand COMPLETELY, you have no idea. I think most of us, or many of us, have felt that way, been through that sort of murky hell.
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm always here to lend an ear -- if you want to talk more, please email me - celeseraphym@yahoo.com - I can't even begin to tell you how much better things can get for you in the future. Like I said, I've been there (and more than once too).
Things will look up soon, I'm sure of it. **hugs** Hope to hear from ya ;)
Kami, you are a beautiful person inside and out! Give it time, get to know yourself more and focus on other things, and it will come to you. Have you tried volunteering for a good cause? I find when I get depressed, I reach out to someone/something else and it makes me feel better, takes my thoughts off myself.
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